Alone & depressed.. I feel like no one understands me.

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As the days and the weeks past. I just find myself lonelier and more sad than I was the day before. Nothing makes sense anymore and I'm just bored with life. Nothing interests me and I'm annoyed with people.Everybody just has this ignorance to them about one thing or the other, personally I feel to me. Like it seems like all of my life, I've either been double crossed by friends,friends disappearing,lack of support or attention from my family about things.I'm always overlooked about everything, never too cute to get a date,not interesting enough to make a friend. I'm always overlooked for everything and I just lack attention from people. I don't care to make friends or whatever because I really want to be alone most of the time. Alot of times, I just spend my day soaking in the house.

I'm conflicted, sometimes I can be fine being alone & sometimes it really makes me sad and it gets to me. I like to make something out of my life but I feel like everything I do is not good enough. I'm never satisfied with what I did or what I've done. It was like this in school, I was always the weird guy to people. People didn't like me, I wasn't an all flat out nerd, but I was just quiet and different and I guess people looked at me differently because of it.I tried my best to try to fit in with people but it didn't work. I tried being the class clown, I tried to be popular and I tried to be more social and outgoing, but it still led me to lonely Friday nights. I was never invited to parties or just invited to go anywhere with friends.

So it's not matter what I do, it doesn't seem like I'll ever be happy & this worries me. I'm so frustrated tonight because I know,that tonight there are people out there having fun & everything is just looking so great for them, but I don't know... I'm lost I guess.. Sometimes I break down & cry because of this..
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